A brilliant day with light winds but they are supposed to pick up to around
16 knots for the race Saturday. Due to a front, swells are building for good
surfing Thursday and Friday. Intermittent rains are expected today.
The jeep wars continue... or poor wittle Rose Royce... (my
name for my rusty old jeep)
Sunday, I started the car and drove to Village Cay Marina. An
hour later, I had to get pushed off to start again and made it to Cane
Garden Bay. An hour later, it miraculously started, but now it was
getting dark and my headlights seemed to be getting dimmer, but maybe it was my
tired eyes.
Woke up next morning, car won't start, popped open hood and
there is alternator belt a tad shredded and dangling off her mounts. Walked to a
local breakfast restaurant and got two guys to push me off. It really
only takes one guy who can push it 4 feet, but usually two show up as the
thought of pushing a 1200 pound car with a mermaid in it, seems to scare
them.
Got going and drove to town, was heading to my mechanics to let
him deal with it, while I walked the next 1.5 miles to work. However,
someone pulled out in front of me, I slammed on brakes and I guess I didn't hit
the clutch fast enough and the car DIED.
I turned the wheel and coasted into, low and behold, an auto
parts store! It wasn't the one I was headed for, it wasn't near my
mechanics, but this is where the jeep died.
A little foreign guy, very well dressed, with a clip
board came out and started waving around "You no park there! You
move!"
I said "Well, my car won't start, the alternator belt broke, I
came here to buy a new one."
He continued with the "You move! No park there!" tirade
when I said "Then push me!"
He began to push me and I saw the gate was open to their repair
facility and it was on a downhill grade, so great, I can get restarted and park
neatly.
He pushed and I aimed to go through the gate and he starts
yelling "Nooooo! You must not block gate!
Noooo!"
I explained I was trying to start the car, reverse and get out
of his way, but he was having none of this, he ran around to the front of the
car (now I had to hit the brakes to keep from mowing him down!) and he begins
pushing me out of the gate's way, so now I am in front of a building and no way
to start the car unless someone can push me in reverse uphill now. If he
had let me be, the car would have rolled maybe 2 more feet and roared to
life!
I sighed. He waves his clipboard around. I held up my
shredded alternator belt and told him I came to buy one.
He threw his arms up, looking at the heavens for mercy then
said "I get you belt right now." I could tell, I was ruining his Monday
morning, and he was consulting his clipboard numerous times, looking nervously
around him, because I was interfering with something on his lengthy list.
About 15 minutes later he comes back with the belt. I now have
my engine hood up,letting the engine cool and wondering why I am standing here
in my nice new dress trying to fix my muddy old rusty jeep. What kind of Monday
is this?
He said "You need mechanic for this!" Then he saw the
wedge of wood holding the alternator in and his eyes grew wide with
horror! He ranted and raved about how my jeep needed major repairs and he
consulted his clipboard and said "You leave jeep here, we fix on
Wednesday". Well this was 830am Monday, so you can understand MY
hesitation. 3 days to get an alternator belt on?
He explained I needed alternator fixed. I explained, I
did not, that wedge of wood had performed flawlessly for months! All I
needed was to get the belt back on. At this point, I leaned over the
engine and began putting the belt on myself.
"No! No! No! You need mechanic for
this!" and sweat broke out all over his forehead as he looked around
helplessly wandering why a mermaid had entered his Monday morning and wrecked
his day.
I intoned, "I can't miss anymore work! Do you know how
hard it is for a mermaid to find work?" I just need to get this belt on
and I can be ON MY WAY and OUT OF YOUR WAY (hoping this would appease
him.) I smiled all the while...while trying to daintily put the belt on
without getting dirty (something impossible!) I was having trouble, so I get my
hammer out of the jeep.
The guy with the clipboard, pops his eyes out and says "You no
fix jeep with hammer!" He said "Wait, I get you somebody
else." I figured he was going for the owner to get him to tell me off in
proper English. He sashayed off, consulting his clip board, clucking his tongue,
shaking his head side to side, like I had put him days behind with my ridiculous
charades.
I see him go up to a guy who is sweeping up the shop and wave
his hands wildly at him, while pointing back at me. The shy man appeared
at my side, while the man with the clipboard explains in a rapid language that
neither of us seemed to understand but I got the gist of, as something like
"this coocoo mermaid, needs an alternator belt, but she says this piece of wood
holds the engine together and he disgustedly waved the piece of wood
around. This gets the shy man laughing and nodding and saying "Si!
Si!"
The clipboard man waltzes off, consulting his board and giving
us sidelong glances. The shy man turns to me and takes the alternator belt and
begins working on it. I begin my own explanation when he says "Se habla
espanol?"
I say, "Pequeno! Mi espanol es pelligrosso!" (a little,
but my Spanish is dangerous!"
He laughs at this. So I say "Por favor habla lentamento, mi
pienso lientamento" (please speak slowly, I think slowly.) Then I add
hopefully "Neccecito repara y neccecito maestro! (this needs repairing and
I need a teacher!)
He laughs some more, and between his broken English and my
fractured Spanish, we got the belt on and he came up with an ingenious solution
to fix the alternator without the wedge of wood, but just in case, I saved the
wood and put my hammer away.
Now he wants me to start the car, but I try to tell him the
battery is dead and for the life of me I can't remember what dead is in espanol.
Finally I turn the key (nothing happens!) and he gets the idea.
He comes back with a battery pack, the jeep roars to life, the alternator works,
the fan turns and we are both quite happy.
The clipboard man is 40 feet away, waving his arms with his
clipboard and talking to some employees. I reach into my wallet, fold up some
bills (I know the employees are NOT supposed to take money direct...I know it
SHOULD go through the front cashier) but I shake the man's hand, shoving the
money very discreetly, giving him my best mermaid winking routine, and say
"Gracias! Gracias! His eyes go wide and he thanks me too, carefully and
casually slipping the money into his pocket, so no one sees us, and slips off
back to work, waving for me to LEAVE, just LEAVE. "Adios!
Adios!" as he waves me off to back up and GO.
He points at the clipboard man, who has his back to us and
is now about 60 feet away, and the shy man takes his finger and does a
circle around his ear (like please don't make him any crazier!) or "please
don't upset him any further..."
So I smile and wave and off I go, very slowly, in case the
clipboard sees me, I will stop and pay whatever he says, and claim I was just
parking neater, but he didn't turn around, there was a long line of people at
the parts window and it seemed I was being thoroughly ignored, as a royal pain
in the tail, so I took my cue, and drove off.
I must apologize to my Spanish speakers and readers, my spelling of
Spanish is as dangerous as my talking Spanish...
